Keep Your Head Up

This picture is for Paige! I have issues with my smile. I am not a fan. She loves it though and said I should smile more. It's a unique smile and it's mine. Smiling lights your eyes up. I am going to try and smile more. You should too :)

Confession time: I have self confidence issues. 

I think we all do at times. 

Let's change that lovelies!

I was struggling with this the past few weeks so I talked to the lovely Paige about it and asked her advice. She is gorgeous. It's not just her outward appearance (which is beautiful too) but how she carries herself, how she is sure of herself, her inner shine. You can just tell she is happy with who she is and doesn't care what others think. That is what matters. I asked her how she did it. Here is the best advice on finding confidence and loving who you are (that I've EVER heard) from Paige:

"I didn't used to always be (confident). At one point, I realized I hated being a follower, and I realized I was meant to be a leader. I realized I was making myself miserable comparing myself to others 24/7, and that the people I was comparing myself to were the ones that were, ironically enough, the least confident people I'd ever encountered. They were the people who so exuberantly acted 'high and mighty', took 'confidence' from bringing others down, and focused so much on outside appearances instead of what's inside a human being as well. I realized that confidence comes from deep within, NOT from the outside. And if these people had to try so hard to act confident, they weren't. If they had to put others down in order to gain what infinitival piece of what they liked to call 'confidence' they had--that in fact-- they were immensely lacking in the self confidence category. I realized that there were probably so many people who also admired me, or compared themselves to me, that I was completely unaware of as well. I realized when I quit trying to make every person happy--and started realizing how much happiness I got from that--that I already was confident. I was happy with who I was.

I realized where confidence really stems from. You're not confident if you need others to tell you that you are, or if you care if others even think you are. You're confidence when every person in the world could be making fun of you, when every person in the world could be telling you that you aren't confident, yet you can smile back at them and say 'I'm sorry you feel that way,' and move on knowing you are and thriving off the comfort that you, yourself, knows that you are. That's confidence. When you don't feel like you need to be putting on a show for the world 24/7. Because the world should be putting on a show for you :) I just release what people think. They can 'think' all they want but the truth is the truth, and what people 'think' doesn't change that. EVER. 

I'm happy with who I am, the way I look, and I'm proud of my weaknesses because it gives me something to improve on day by day. I don't want to 'look' like anybody else no matter how pretty they are, because I enjoy the fact that I can be ME and not a copy. I want to be an original, and my fears, enjoyments, personality, looks, and strengths make me that. So why compare myself to others when I don't want to be them, because if I was--I wouldn't be ME."

The following are some quotes Paige wrote down for me that she loves on confidence...

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

"It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes."
-Sally Field

"A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her."

-David Brinkley

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not."
-Anonymous

"It aint what they call you, it's what you answer to."

"If you hear a voice within you saying, 'You cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."
-Vincent Van Gogh

"I am not a 'has-been'--I am a 'will be'."

-Lauren Bacall

"Just believe in the wonderful person you are Charley. Let all judgments, worries, and things out of your control go. For they are not in your control. You will ruin yourself and future constantly trying to make others happy. That's why there are so many people in this world. Not one person can make all happy. Life wasn't meant for it to be that simple. The right one and your one true love? You'll find you won't need to 'try' to make them happy. You just will."

-Paige :)

I asked my other dear friends--Tyson & Brie--about confidence.

Brie said she struggled with it majorly... she says what works for her is whenever she had a negative thought, doubted herself, or thought she wasn't good enough, she didn't tell Tyson because guys love girls that are confident (not cocky there's a major difference). She would push it away and think of something she liked about herself instead. Soon enough, it was a habit and she focused on the good, not her perceived shortcomings. 

Ty said even he had low self esteem at one time. He hated himself some days. Then he woke up one day and realized that there are people out there starving, without homes, clothes, etc and there were people dying, people who wouldn't be waking up that morning. He then decided that everyday we wake up and are alive is for a reason. We are meant for something big. We all have a purpose (big or small) and instead of wasting the precious time we are blessed to have constantly telling yourself you aren't good enough or being miserable by comparing yourself to others, you should be happy and find out what your purpose is that day. 

This is what I have to say...

Being confident in yourself, having a purpose, goals, and plans is what makes you beautiful.

THERE IS NO ONE ELSE LIKE YOU. 

7 billion+ people on the earth but only 1 YOU. 

God doesn't make mistakes. You are the way you are for a reason, and you're amazing.

You are unique. You are unlike any other. You are you.

There is only one cause of unhappiness... the false beliefs you have in your head. Beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them. You are your own worst critic. STOP it. 

You have to quit comparing yourself to others even though everywhere you go there are magazines, TV actresses/actors, models, etc in your face and you feel pressure to be perfect, to look like them. 

You can't life your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people's opinions make you self conscious you give away your power... the key to feeling confident is to always listen to your inner self, the real you.

There has never been another you. You are a once-in-all-history event. You may not be able to see your undeveloped potential, but it's there--and it's enormous!

Don't wait for the perfect moment... take the moment and make it perfect. Don't wait for the day you are "prettier" or "skinnier" or anything else. No one is perfect! You are perfectly you though.

I heard this saying recently and am loving it--You're never fully dressed without a smile.

“Society is wrong. Dead wrong. We’re taught to believe that exotic is beautiful. We’re taught to believe that miniature waists, and perfect tans are beautiful. We’re convinced that blonde girls with the gorgeous smiles will win every time. But the truth is: originality is beautiful. Big brown eyes, green eyes, blue eyes. Curves. Your natural skin tone is beautiful. Your hair color, your smile. Your voice, your laugh, your personality. Every inch of you is beautiful, every single part of you shines with your essence. You, my dear? You’re lovely.”

You are the most beautiful thing in the world.

And The Greatest of These is Love

"Love is the very essence of life. It is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Yet it is more than the end of the rainbow. Love is at the beginning also, and from it springs the beauty that arches across the sky on a stormy day. Love is the security for which children weep, the yearning of youth, the adhesive that binds marriage, and the lubricant that prevents devastating friction in the home, it is the peace of old age, the sunlight of hope shining through death. In our youth, we sometimes acquire faulty ideas of love, that it can be imposed or simply created for convenience. I noted the following in a newspaper column some years ago: 'One of the grand errors we tend to make when we are young is supposing that a person is a bundle of qualities, and we add up the individual's good and bad qualities, like a bookkeeper working on debits and credits. If the balance is favorable, we may decide to take the jump [into marriage]... The world is full of unhappy men and women who married because... it seemed to be a good investment. Love, however, is not an investment; it is an adventure. And when marriage turns out to be as dull and comfortable as a sound investment the disgruntled party soon turns elsewhere... Ignorant people are always saying, 'I wonder what he sees in her [or him],' not realizing that what he [or she] sees in her [or him] (and what no one else can see) is the secret essence of love.' Love is the only force that can erase the differences between people."

-President Gordon B. Hinckley

"If one really loves another, one would rather die for that person than to injure him."

-Elder Spencer W. Kimball

"There are lots of limitations in all of us that we hope our sweethearts will overlook. I suppose no one is as handsome or as beautiful as he or she wishes, or as brilliant in school or as witty in speech or as wealthy as we would like but in a world of varied talents and fortunes that we can't always command, I think that makes even more attractive the qualities we can command--such qualities as thoughtfulness, patience, a kind word, and true delight in the accomplishment of another. These cost us nothing, and they can mean everything to the one who receives them.

I like Mormon and Paul's language that says one who truly loves is not "puffed up" Puffed up! Isn't that a great image? Haven't you ever been with someone who was so conceited, so full of themselves that they seemed like the Pillsbury doughboy? Fred Allen said once that he saw such a fellow walking down Lovers' Lane holding his own hand. True love blooms when we care more about another person than we care about ourselves. That is Christ's great atoning example for us, and it ought to be more evident in the kindness we show, the respect we give, and the selflessness and courtesy we employ in our personal relationships.

Love is a fragile thing, and some elements in life can try to break it. Much damage can be done if we are not in tender hands, caring hands. To give ourselves totally to another person, as we do in marriage, is the most trusting step we take in any human relationship. This is a real act of faith--faith all of us must be willing to exercise. If we do it right, we end up sharing everything--all our hopes, all our fears, all our dreams, all our weaknesses, and all our joys--with another person. 

No serious courtship or engagement or marriage is worth the name if we do not fully invest all that we have in it and in so doing, trust ourselves totally to be the one we love. You cannot succeed in love if you keep one foot out on the bank for safety's sake. The very nature of the endeavor requires that you hold onto each other as tightly as you can and jump in the pool together. In that spirit, and in the spirit of Mormon's plan for pure love, I want to impress upon you the vulnerability and delicacy of your partner's future as it is placed in your hands for safekeeping--male and female, it works both ways."

-Elder Jeffery R. Holland

"The girl you marry will take a terrible chance on you. She will give her all to the young man she marries. He will largely determine the remainder of his [and her] life, she will even surrender her name to his name."

-President Gordon B. Hinckley

"Spiritual growth comes by solving problems together--not by running from them. Today's inordinate emphasis on individualism brings egotism and separation. Two individuals becoming 'one flesh' is still the Lord's standard."
-President Ezra Taft Benson

"Marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person."

-President Spencer W. Kimball

"The wisdom of God ofttimes appears as foolishness to men, but the greatest single lesson we can learn in mortality is that when God speaks and a man obeys, that man will always be right."
-President Thomas S. Monson

"The Lord expects something better of us. He expects something better than is to be found in the world... When we look for the worst in anyone, we will find it. But if we concentrate on the best, that element will grow until it sparkles."
-President Gordon B. Hinckley

"If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by."
-Elder F. Burton Howard

"Don't waste your time searching and wishing. Grow and be ready... and you'll see God will give you a love story far better than you could ever dreamed of."
-President Gordon B. Hinckley

"The is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman."

-Elder M. Russell Ballard

"We cannot gauge the worth of another soul anymore than we can measure the span of the universe. Every person we meet is a VIP to our Heavenly Father. Once we understand that, we can begin to understand how we should treat our fellowmen. 

True love requires action. We can speak of love all day long-- we can write notes or poems that proclaim it, sing songs that praise it, and preach sermons that encourage it--but until we manifest that love in action, our words are nothing but 'sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal'.

Love is what inspired our Heavenly Father to create our spirits; it is what led our Savior to the Garden of Gethsemane to make Himself a ransom for our sins. Love is the grand motive of the Plan of Salvation. It is the source of happiness, the ever-renewing spring of healing, the precious fountain of hope."

-President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love."

-Elder Richard G. Scott

"To trust means to obey willingly without knowing the end from the beginning."

-Elder Richard G. Scott

"The love of two righteous people moving toward the Savior can cast out the fears of all the world's unknowns."

"You can do something for another person that no one else ever born can do."
-President James Faust

"Fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith."
-President Thomas S. Monson

"Every noble impulse, every unselfish expression of love, every brave suffering for the right; every surrender of self to something higher than self; every loyalty to an ideal; every unselfish devotion to principle, every helpfulness to humanity; every act of self control, every fine courage of the soul, undefeated by pretense or policy, but by doing, and living of good for the very good's sake--that is spirituality."
-President David O. McKay

"The heaven we seek is little more than the projection of our homes into eternity."

-President Stephen L. Richards

"Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles, and less than perfect conditions. So what? Get started now, with each step you take, you grow stronger and stronger.

It is inconceivable that God would desire to punish or to see his children in suffering or pain or distress. He is a God of peace and tranquility. He offers joy and growth and happiness and peace."

-President Spencer W. Kimball

"Love is cleanliness and progress and sacrifice and selflessness. This kind of love never tires nor wanes, but lives through sickness and sorrow, poverty and privation, accomplishment and disappointment, time and eternity."

-President Spencer W. Kimball

"Love cannot be forced... it comes out of heaven unasked and unsought."

-President Gordon B. Hinckley

"I submit that... as a true guide. In the presence of the girl you truly love you do not feel to grovel, in her presence do not attempt to take advantage of her, in her presence feel that you would like to be everything that a master man should become, for she will inspire you to that ideal. And I ask you young women to cherish that same guide. My mother once said that if you meet a girl in whose presence you feel a desire to achieve, who inspires you to do your best, and to make the most of yourself, such a young woman is worthy of your love and is awakening love in your heart."
-President David O. McKay

"Choose your love, love your choice."
-President Thomas S. Monson

"When true love prevails between husband and wife, they want to give themselves to and for each other, as Christ gave of Himself. We give for each other on a daily basis. When we endeavor always to make each other happy. Then we give up thinking selfishly of ourselves and our personal needs. Then we really think not only of the here and now but of the hereafter."
-Elder Albert Choules Jr

"True charity is love in action. The need for charity is everywhere. Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through times. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others."

-President Thomas S. Monson

Eternal love is the purpose of us being here. To find our eternal companion who will be with us forever. Love is the best thing ever. This is why Satan tries to fill our heads with doubts. Love is in us, born within our hearts, and he wants to destroy it and replace it with misery and hate because he can't have love.

This is why so many marriages fail because from the moment you find your sweetheart and fall in love until crossing over safely to our Heavenly Father, Satan will do absolutely everything to destroy and break the covenants and eternal bond we have with our Savior and the one we love. He will always be there with doubts, fear, temptation, contention, conflict, anger, and sadness. He will always try to stir up trouble and exaggerate our trials until we feel like giving up, breaking down, deciding it's not worth it. But it is. Love is worth everything.

Marriage will be the best yet hardest thing in life. However, as Heavenly Father has shown us, nothing worthwhile is ever easy, but always always always worth it. You must work every moment of everyday to get to happily ever after. You have to be strong which is why you find the one for you who you are meant to be with to become one in every way. You are two imperfect people striving together to attain perfection and make your family yours forever. If you pray always together, are selfless, choose the right, and have faith, the Savior's love will overcome the adversary without fail. Heavenly Father is always there for us. In love, you must sacrifice everything, but the reward is a million times better than we are even capable of imaging. <3 Charley Brooke