How do you know when you're in love with someone?
I don't mean love in the sense of the way you love your family (from the moment your heart starts beating, the first breath into your lungs, the safety and history as familiar as the sun or stars--knowing they'll be there day and night, one of the other) or they way you love your friends (aka the family you choose or who choose you such as I've loved Aubrey since we decided to have our first sleepover when she was 5 and I was 4 and the fact that we were complete strangers couldn't stop us from becoming friends forever, a love that is never ending, a love where even if we haven't seen each other in way too long, nothing's changed and it's like we were never apart, a true best friend becoming sisters by choice [she's my older sister and I'm here younger sister] or the way I love Deedra even though we just met last year or I never thought you could make a new, amazing friend that would develop into one of the best friendships at my age even though we started our as co-workers being obligated to spend 9 hours, nearly 5 days a week, in a small office space having to work together, spend a large part of our time with one another, and now spending time together even outside of work by choice and knowing we'd do anything for the other, or the way I love Taylor and have since we first met as teenagers and with a love that defies distance because through that distance we've become closer than ever bonding our hearts together through words, connecting by letters that mean more than even the words and individual letters handwritten in them)?
NO, I KNOW how that love works unconditionally, undeniably, irrevocably--carried in your heart. I mean how do you know when you are in love, that you've met the "one" you will marry and be together forever? How do you realize that the love story you have spent your waking and sleeping, your hopes, your dreams, and prayers, and wishes on stars, birthday candles, on paper, out loud, at 11:11, as you watch A Walk To Remember, Charly, Titanic, The Notebook, and it's what gets you through the trails and heartaches?
Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
...until the words and days blur together, until waiting begins to feel like an emotion or a ghost haunting you , until waiting defines you and transforms into as much a part of the love you are searching for.
Is love when there are no doubts or worries or fears or questioning or wondering or second guessing or is it when you care so much about someone that none of the above matters, all that is important is that person and you put your trust in them and take a leap of faith knowing the risk but finding the greater risk is not taking the chance or making the moment and praying that he will catch you and instead of falling you will fly higher than the stars? Is it the opposite? Do you find the answer like in the movies and fairytales, at first glance across a crowded room or in the first kiss and finding it will be your last? Is it in the boy who never gives up on you and will kiss you in the pouring rain, dance with you in the middle of the road under a starlit sky with no music except the sound of him singing for you or the symphony of your heartbeats, or builds your dream house, or writes you a love letter every single day like Noah?
Is it in the boy like Landon Carter who takes you by surprise, who changes and makes you change into your best self, who helps you accomplish all of the goals and things on your list of things to do before you die just to see your smile and make you happy, who makes promises he won't fall in love with you and vice versa but finds in his heart is yours, and yours beats inside his chest, and without the other you're incomplete, who is always patient, always kind, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and endures all things?
Does it wash over you slowly like a light rain shower or crash into you like a wave, like a storm, soaking you into your very bones and lighting up your heart like lightning? Does it change the reflection you see in the mirror? Is it at a steady pace or racing like a sprinter? Is love when you don't have to ask yourself any of these questions because you find the answer in a feeling you get that's always been there and is found in the eyes of the one you're meant to be with and you just know it more than you know yourself, more than you know anything?
All I know is love, true love, is out there... that it's worth all the questions you have and the loneliness leading you to it. Love is worth everything, anything, and more. I'm certain there's a reason for the wait. You must do the seeking and praying and preparing before the finding, before you've found L.O.V.E. Four ordinary, common letters that form together what they cannot even apart: the most beautiful, extraordinary, rare, meaningful word to ever exist...to be thought, to be written, to be said, to be heard, to be felt.
Love is worth it.
Love never fails.
Love is seeing an imperfect person perfectly, the person perfect for you and that you're perfect to.
<W3/L (With Love)
Charley Brooke
