Grapevine Fires (IDAHO is BURNING) & Rising from the Ashes

F I R E

These are pictures of the Charlotte Fire (as it is being called) or the Mink Creek/Gibson Jack Fire in Pocatello, Idaho aka where I live.

On Thursday, the day started out just fine and then went up in flames literally!

I was leaving work and stepped outside to see this fire! Right as I got outside the hospital doors I am facing these HUGE plumes and clouds of smoke darkening the sky. The flames raged wildly. I could see them from where I was standing. It looked like a volcano exploded or a war zone! I was in complete shock. Pocatello was burning. What was the most frightening thing was that my family live up Gibson Jack right where the fire was.

It was the worst fire I have ever witnessed in my life. I immediately pulled out my phone and called my mom. My stomach churned and twisted in knots with fear and anxiety when she answered, crying and freaking out. My heart sunk. My mother explained that the police were not letting people go up Mink Creek and Gibson Jack or anywhere near the fire. She said it was close to our house and that she and Bob (my stepdad) thought the house was going to burn down!
I raced to my grandma's house (where we had all decided to meet) listening to Death Cab for Cutie's "Grapevine Fires" and praying, praying, praying that our house would be saved, praying for a miracle in a situation completely out of control. My mom, Jordan (sister), Chrish (brother), my grandma, Madison (Jordan's friend), and my Aunt Michelle were all gathered together in the living room glued to the TV screen as the news reporters updated us on the fire.

I felt so bad for my mother who couldn't stop sobbing. She was worried because Bob went up to our house, climbed the hill, so that he could save our horses and let them free. He was taking a long time. We couldn't get a hold of him and it scared us because he has bad asthma. 

We were all incredibly relieved when Bob pulled up safe and sound in his truck. My mom ran to him and embraced him. He was upbeat, calm, and positive in the time of such a crises. I love that about him, always optimistic and hopeful. He let the horses go. They got away. He thought our home was going to turn to ashes and burn down. He took some stunning, terrifying videos of the raging inferno that was only yards away from our home.

Everyone who lived in or near the fire was evacuated. For a few hours, we sat, paced, talked, prayed, and waited ever so anxiously and nervously for the outcome. The question that hung heavier than the summer heat in the air was suffocating: will the house be burned to the ground, leaving my family homeless? Or would we be ever so blessed with a miracle, that our house would be spared?

All the while we were reminded of what truly matters, the most important thing is each other, the ones we love, family, people. Home isn't where your material possessions are stored. It isn't a place with polished hardwood floors or chandeliers hanging from vaulted ceilings or big theater rooms filled with every movie imaginable. Home is in the hearts of the ones we love. Home is family. Home is each other.

What a beautiful thing this life is, no matter the fire that burns all around us. If we just stick together, hold onto each other, and never take anyone or anything for granted, then I know we can make it through anything, through everything. Fire doesn't just destroy, it refines and purifies. It may hurt and burn at the onset, but the end result shines bright as the stars. Life is about thriving and triumphing after tragedy, together forever.

We kept getting mixed messages from friends of our family members that our house was burned one minute and the next that it was spared. It was nerve wracking. I felt so badly for everyone in this town. Prayers for rain were on my lips. I was just in total shock and awe that the unexpected always happens. We must always remember that people are what matters. Love matters. Everything else is replaceable, but family, love and friends are irreplaceable. Look at the people struggling with this exact same situation in Utah, Colorado, and other places in the United States. It only takes one spark to ignite a fire that can burn miles in minutes. This could happen to you. 

mY miracle

This is my family's house... a safe place in the midst of disaster and destruction. Some people may believe it is luck, but I know it as a miracle. Life is beautiful no matter the fire that burns around us. Home is in the hearts of the ones we love. Home is family. Our house was saved. I wish I could say the same for others. I heard nearly 60 homes were destroyed. I can't even begin to offer an explanation. I can say God is good. I know this was a miracle.

Just because you can't see or imagine a good reason why God might allow something to happen doesn't mean there can't be one. What matters now is coming together as a community and reaching out, helping, and sending prayers to those who were affected and victims of this fire and the fires all over the country. We all need one another and should never take this fact for granted, never forget it or take it lightly. Caring is sharing. Open your hearts lovelies and lets make this world a better place one person at a time.

I also send my thoughts and prayers with a heart overflowing with love and gratitude for all the brave firefighters who risk their lives and work relentlessly and fearlessly to put out these fires and triumph over disasters. 

Live by love

<3 Charley Brooke

This is what I believe to be true: You have to do everything you can, and if you stay positive, you have a shot at a silver lining and the moon and all the stars that light up the night sky.

Deterioration of the Fight or Flight Response

Lately, I wonder if I disappeared, vanished out into thin air, went missing, would anyone notice?

Would anyone care?

Would it make a difference in anyone's life?

Would I be missed?

Who would come searching for me?

Would people say they missed me? I don't think they'd mean it... most of them... because if they did, why didn't they try to talk to me, be with me, when I was there?

How is it possible to feel so alone when there are 7 billion people in the world, but then again, how do you stand out, be one in a billion? 

When asked if you could have any super power, what would it be? many people say they would want invisibility. I feel like I am invisible. Trust me, it's not all it's built up to be. People look through me, not at me. I am not seen. I sometimes feel as if I am fading away. I miss being a kid. When you didn't have to be anything but yourself and everyone loved it... loved you. I am easy to look at but so so so hard to see.

I am too fragile. I am trapped in glass and I want to break out and breathe deep but I'm too afraid that it will hurt.

I want someone to break me out. I want to be rescued by my prince charming or knight-in-shining-whatever. I want Romeo to save me. I've been feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you but you never come.

I think waiting is a little heartbreaking... your heart feels like it's going to shatter because it's bursting, nearly overflowing with love for this person you are waiting to give it to... and when they don't come, you wait wait wait and wonder if it's too late... your heart starts to break a little because it's much too much. When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground, it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters or a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent. You would think it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world. But it's silent and you almost wish there was noise to distract you from the pain.

I love love & that is unfortunate. Ever notice how sometimes you want something so badly that it will always evade you? That is how love is for me. I wonder if I will ever get my love story... Some days I just want to rip my heart out of me because it is overflowing with love that won't fit in me alone. I'm not sure why I have so much love in my heart. Why not I suppose? Why doesn't everyone? If people focused on loving a bit more, maybe the allocation of our energies would be a lot more productive and peaceful. Where do I get all of the love? It's inside of me. I think we have a choice every moment to be, do, think, say whatever we wish... why not choose love instead of all the other stuff we waste our time with? Love is everything. My downfall is my stupid hopeless romantic heart and blind optimism and believes in fate, magic, and fairytales mentality... I'm basically setting myself up for heartbreak, and there is nothing I can do about it unless a miracle occurs in the form of a boy who proves to me all of it is real and gives me a love story better than the movies. To me, true love is the sweetest thing in life. That's why we're all either in love or looking for love. Sometimes you have to work for it, take chances--especially when life gets in the way--but I believe true, deep love is always worth fighting for.

What I mean is best summed up in a quote from, you guessed it, Grey's Anatomy: "Too often the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be: The people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want."

I don't want to disappear. I want to be FOUND.

I will be strong lovelies.

I love the new Facebook timeline. I was going back looking at all the things I said, the quotes I posted, and they made me feel better. The things about staying strong, being happy, goals, fighting for your dreams... it's all true. That's why I do this. I write on this silly blog my silly thoughts and share the lovely thoughts of others in the hopes that when you are having hard times, doubts, and insecurity, you can read them, read this, know you belong to this nation of inspiration. You are not alone. Words can heal. If even one person feels better after reading something on this blog, it's all worth it to me.

Stay strong and always believing. 

I know I can't be the only one who feels this emptiness... who feels like they are disappearing... who feels like they are drowning on dry land. I notice you. Struggles give us strength. 

It's my faith in something greater than myself that enables me to do what I have to do, to press forward even though I am tired, hurt, and afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.

I have to bring my own light, not let the fire in me die out, to the darkness. My heart is on fire and no one can put that out.