The eyes. The slinking tail. The claws. These creatures were just made for savage attacks.
They're always watching you, calculating their next move. You think they innocently sleep all day, but I assure you, they sleep with one eye open, plotting, planning ...
They curl around furniture, innocently, almost affectionately brush your leg, but it's all part of their plan. The scariest thing is that there's no escape. They freely walk our streets and some naively welcome them into their homes.
That's right people ...
Don't be fooled. This is a ruthless, trained killer.
With moves like ninjas, they are silent but deadly.
Some may find this an unusual phobia, and I genuinely don't know where it stems from. I've always been more of a dog person and I was allergic to them as a child, but I've never had a particularly traumatic experience with them to make me fear them so intensely.
Now when I say phobia, I'm not overstating my fears, like some of these spider haters. It's got to a point where I can't even walk on the same side of the road as them. If I see a cat I will go out of my way, even pick up the pace to make my desperate escape. If I see a picture, or even imagine them, it sends shivers down my spine. The way they glare at you, their speed, their silence, it just unsettles me and after some research I can conclude that my fears are justified:
Yesterday however, my phobia reached a whole new level when I was held hostage by a cat in my own car. As I pulled up into my road, I saw a cat sat by my front door, literally directly in the centre of the door, barring any entry. Out of all of the houses in my road, it just had to choose mine; I'm telling you, they're out to get me ...
It watched me pull into the road. It watched me roll up onto my drive and it didn't even so much as flinch. It just sat there, staring me out.
I genuinely didn't know what to do. Everyone told me to just 'shoo' it away, but that was easier said than done when I couldn't even bring myself to meet its gaze. I tried to telepathically stand my ground, this was my house, but he was having none of it, he was taking my territory. After eight minutes of deep breaths and coaxing, I built up the courage to step out of the car. I stood there frozen for a while, trying to look intimidating but after several futile attempts, I just ran. I ran to the back of my house, through the back gate, slamming it and clumsily locking it. Then I realised that cats can jump fences. So I ran even quicker to my house and stayed there until my Mum got home. The cat was still sat there, making his point, and yet she just sauntered over as usual and he just sloped away, not before he threw me a cold, smirking glaze however.
I'm still a little scarred I have to say. It was incredibly traumatic and I think I might need some therapy. A cat kept me out of my own house ... They're clearly getting stronger. They're invading.
Beware.
They'll claw you in the back when you least expect it.
