Keep Your Head Up

This picture is for Paige! I have issues with my smile. I am not a fan. She loves it though and said I should smile more. It's a unique smile and it's mine. Smiling lights your eyes up. I am going to try and smile more. You should too :)

Confession time: I have self confidence issues. 

I think we all do at times. 

Let's change that lovelies!

I was struggling with this the past few weeks so I talked to the lovely Paige about it and asked her advice. She is gorgeous. It's not just her outward appearance (which is beautiful too) but how she carries herself, how she is sure of herself, her inner shine. You can just tell she is happy with who she is and doesn't care what others think. That is what matters. I asked her how she did it. Here is the best advice on finding confidence and loving who you are (that I've EVER heard) from Paige:

"I didn't used to always be (confident). At one point, I realized I hated being a follower, and I realized I was meant to be a leader. I realized I was making myself miserable comparing myself to others 24/7, and that the people I was comparing myself to were the ones that were, ironically enough, the least confident people I'd ever encountered. They were the people who so exuberantly acted 'high and mighty', took 'confidence' from bringing others down, and focused so much on outside appearances instead of what's inside a human being as well. I realized that confidence comes from deep within, NOT from the outside. And if these people had to try so hard to act confident, they weren't. If they had to put others down in order to gain what infinitival piece of what they liked to call 'confidence' they had--that in fact-- they were immensely lacking in the self confidence category. I realized that there were probably so many people who also admired me, or compared themselves to me, that I was completely unaware of as well. I realized when I quit trying to make every person happy--and started realizing how much happiness I got from that--that I already was confident. I was happy with who I was.

I realized where confidence really stems from. You're not confident if you need others to tell you that you are, or if you care if others even think you are. You're confidence when every person in the world could be making fun of you, when every person in the world could be telling you that you aren't confident, yet you can smile back at them and say 'I'm sorry you feel that way,' and move on knowing you are and thriving off the comfort that you, yourself, knows that you are. That's confidence. When you don't feel like you need to be putting on a show for the world 24/7. Because the world should be putting on a show for you :) I just release what people think. They can 'think' all they want but the truth is the truth, and what people 'think' doesn't change that. EVER. 

I'm happy with who I am, the way I look, and I'm proud of my weaknesses because it gives me something to improve on day by day. I don't want to 'look' like anybody else no matter how pretty they are, because I enjoy the fact that I can be ME and not a copy. I want to be an original, and my fears, enjoyments, personality, looks, and strengths make me that. So why compare myself to others when I don't want to be them, because if I was--I wouldn't be ME."

The following are some quotes Paige wrote down for me that she loves on confidence...

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

"It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes."
-Sally Field

"A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her."

-David Brinkley

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not."
-Anonymous

"It aint what they call you, it's what you answer to."

"If you hear a voice within you saying, 'You cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."
-Vincent Van Gogh

"I am not a 'has-been'--I am a 'will be'."

-Lauren Bacall

"Just believe in the wonderful person you are Charley. Let all judgments, worries, and things out of your control go. For they are not in your control. You will ruin yourself and future constantly trying to make others happy. That's why there are so many people in this world. Not one person can make all happy. Life wasn't meant for it to be that simple. The right one and your one true love? You'll find you won't need to 'try' to make them happy. You just will."

-Paige :)

I asked my other dear friends--Tyson & Brie--about confidence.

Brie said she struggled with it majorly... she says what works for her is whenever she had a negative thought, doubted herself, or thought she wasn't good enough, she didn't tell Tyson because guys love girls that are confident (not cocky there's a major difference). She would push it away and think of something she liked about herself instead. Soon enough, it was a habit and she focused on the good, not her perceived shortcomings. 

Ty said even he had low self esteem at one time. He hated himself some days. Then he woke up one day and realized that there are people out there starving, without homes, clothes, etc and there were people dying, people who wouldn't be waking up that morning. He then decided that everyday we wake up and are alive is for a reason. We are meant for something big. We all have a purpose (big or small) and instead of wasting the precious time we are blessed to have constantly telling yourself you aren't good enough or being miserable by comparing yourself to others, you should be happy and find out what your purpose is that day. 

This is what I have to say...

Being confident in yourself, having a purpose, goals, and plans is what makes you beautiful.

THERE IS NO ONE ELSE LIKE YOU. 

7 billion+ people on the earth but only 1 YOU. 

God doesn't make mistakes. You are the way you are for a reason, and you're amazing.

You are unique. You are unlike any other. You are you.

There is only one cause of unhappiness... the false beliefs you have in your head. Beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them. You are your own worst critic. STOP it. 

You have to quit comparing yourself to others even though everywhere you go there are magazines, TV actresses/actors, models, etc in your face and you feel pressure to be perfect, to look like them. 

You can't life your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people's opinions make you self conscious you give away your power... the key to feeling confident is to always listen to your inner self, the real you.

There has never been another you. You are a once-in-all-history event. You may not be able to see your undeveloped potential, but it's there--and it's enormous!

Don't wait for the perfect moment... take the moment and make it perfect. Don't wait for the day you are "prettier" or "skinnier" or anything else. No one is perfect! You are perfectly you though.

I heard this saying recently and am loving it--You're never fully dressed without a smile.

“Society is wrong. Dead wrong. We’re taught to believe that exotic is beautiful. We’re taught to believe that miniature waists, and perfect tans are beautiful. We’re convinced that blonde girls with the gorgeous smiles will win every time. But the truth is: originality is beautiful. Big brown eyes, green eyes, blue eyes. Curves. Your natural skin tone is beautiful. Your hair color, your smile. Your voice, your laugh, your personality. Every inch of you is beautiful, every single part of you shines with your essence. You, my dear? You’re lovely.”

You are the most beautiful thing in the world.

You Are Beautiful

 This is me without makeup. All natural. It was difficult to decide to post this picture. I find it not at all flattering. I even would use the U word (ugly) to describe it. I admit at times I have self esteem issues, but I am working through them and this is the real me, and I am okay with it. I am original and unique as are you. I am exactly who I'm supposed to be.

This is me with makeup. I like getting made up every morning and it makes me feel more beautiful. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I consider getting ready, wearing makeup, and taking care of yourself a confidence booster and fun. Make up can be used to emphasize and bring out your natural beauty. I know inner beauty is what matters but getting dolled up helps you feel better about yourself. It’s all about being comfortable in your skin and feeling confident with or without makeup.  

  

Beauty is a noun that has a narrow meaning when defined by the dictionary. It is described as follow”: A combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses especially the sight. A combination of qualities that pleases the intellect or moral sense. A beautiful or pleasing thing or person, in particular. The best feature or advantage of something. Synonyms of the word beauty include loveliness, good looking, attractive, pretty, fairness, gorgeous, charm, grace, and amazing to name a few. There is a lot of pressure from American society to be beautiful. It seems like who we are depends on how beautiful we are. We see beautiful people everywhere. When we open a magazine, we never see some 400-pound woman on the first page. Instead we see a woman who is 23 percent skinnier. As individuals we seem to buy into this concept. We strive to fit the description of beauty that society has set for us. We buy the right clothes and cosmetic products. Many of us work out obsessively, and others even develop eating disorders.

            There is a book called Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy. Lucy tells her life story from the time the acquired malignancy on her jaw, to the time she came to terms with her face never being the same again. Half of her jaw was removed at an early age due to cancer. With such an unusual shape of the face she comes across social problems each and every day, one being that no man will ever desire or feel attracted to her. Lucy says “’’’’’—Beauty, as defined by society at large, seemed to be only about who was best at looking like everyone else.” (Source—A study called What is Beauty)

            I believe EVERYONE is beautiful… but sometimes the things people do and say make them ugly. There is beauty all around you. Being different and unique is beauty. You have to believe in yourself or no one else will. Sometimes it’s a challenge… it’s a constant struggle everyday to try and be perfect, but there’s no need to be perfect. Just be perfectly perfect being you and find someone who loves every part of it. Even the prettiest people can have the ugliest personality which tends to be the case. Inner beauty is what matters. Love yourself. I love you and think you are all gorgeous. There are 6.5 plus billion definitions of beauty in reality.

            If you haven’t read the book Beastly go read my blog entry about it! It has such a wonderful message. There are amazing quotes on what beauty really means and how inner beauty is what counts. You are beautiful just the way you are. I also have a post with quotes from the lovely Audrey Hepburn which are all about true beauty and are wonderful. Check them out! Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently. There may be some people who ridicule you and tease you and say you are ugly—that just makes them the ugly ones. There are a thousand more people out there who would say you are breathtakingly beautiful and stunning. Society has the most distorted image of beauty. No one is perfect… even the actresses, singers, and models gracing the TV, movies, and magazines. They are all digitally distorted into perfect. It’s a lie. I will cover that in another post.

            The point is YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. As a ball of fire I have admired since I was a little girl and a wonderful example of great woman aka Lucille Ball (from I Love Lucy) has said, “””You have to love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.  Everyone (even celebrities) have days where you doubt yourself and feel not good enough. Many mean people bully you and criticize you, but don’t listen. Kill them with kindness. The people who are mean need niceness the most. The most insecure people are the ones who feel the need to belittle others.

            All that matters is what YOU and YOUR LOVED ONES think. Never forget that! Love yourself and you will become lovable. Spread the love to others. I got the most wonderful, needed, and touching advice from a friend of mine’s dear mother who is a sweetheart. Her name is Amy HUmpherys and this was her advice to me All the good, fun, positive “Stuff in life comes from the inside! Put your attention on at least ONE good thing about yourself…I know you can think of at least ONE good thing about yourself sweetie! And the good feelings you get from that will expand into other areas of your life! I promise, it works! I know because I did it! Earlier this year, I put my attention on one thing about my body that I was ok with (1^st my eyes…then my hair…etc, etc) and it was transformational! I’ve now lost 30 lbs & am rockin a new young bod in this 44-yr-old thing I carry my spirit in. Some days are harder than others, but I promise you, you CAN change anything about yourself that you WANT to change! Because, as Wayne Dyer says, When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. You are fine just the way you are…LOVE yourself, and you will be as happy as you wann a be!”

          What incredible advice not only for me but each and every one of you lovelies. I promise following Amy’s words of wisdom will magnify your beauty and qualities you didn’t realize you had. You will be happier. Tell yourself you are beautiful and don’t let anyone bring you down. Life is beautiful and you are too! The definition of beautiful is YOU.

           

BEAUTY QUOTES

“No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly.”

-Oscar Wilde

“It’s beauty that captures your attention—personality which captures your heart.”

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

“Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.”

-Confucius

“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.”

-Helen Keller

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.”

-Sophia Loren

“Let us live for the beauty of our own reality.”

-Charles Lamb

“Beauty is only skin deep. I think what’s really important is finding a balance of mind, body and spirit. Somebody said to me not too long ago, ‘Until you’re twenty, you have the face you are born with, and after that you have the face you deserve,’ and I really loved that—the idea that you wear who you are on your face.”

-Jennifer Lopez

“The most beautiful thing we experience is the mysterious.”

-Albert Einstein

“No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they’re pretty, even if they aren’t.”

-Marilyn Monroe

“Beauty comes from a life well lived. If you’ve lived well, your smile lines are in the right places, and your frown lines aren’t too bad, what more do you need?”

-Jennifer Garner

“Beauty’s a kind of radiance. People who possess a true inner beauty, their eyes are a little brighter, their skin a little more dewy. They vibrate at a different frequency.”
-Cameron Diaz

“True beauty lies deep within. No matter what you look like on the outside, if you are beautiful, nothing can change that.”

-Amy Davis

“Beauty is being in harmony with what you are.”

-Peter Nivio Zarlenga

“Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.”

-Oscar Wilde

“People often say that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder,’ and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared look, including inside ourselves.”

-Selma Hayek

“When there’s so much beauty in the world sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid life.”

-American Beauty

“Beauty isn’t skin deep, it’s from the heart, body, mind, and soul.”

“See beauty without your eyes and you will know it’s truly genuine.”

“The real secret to total gorgeousness is to believe in yourself, have self confidence, and try to be secure in your thoughts and decisions.”

-Kirsten Dunst

“You wonder why I’m insecure? Because there are girls out there who look gorgeous without even trying. When they wake up they look like angels. When I wake up, I look like I just got out of a war. Those photogenic girls who look good in every photo. When someone takes a picture of me, my face looks ugly. They don’t even need to dress nicely and they still look be able to do that.”

“I don’t wanna be afraid. I wanna wake up feeling beautiful today.”

-Demi Lovato

“I like to tell people they’re beautiful, not because it’s good to hear and not because it makes me feel better about myself, but because everyone deserves to hear it every day.”

“You are the most beautiful thing in the world.”

-Alex Gaskarth

“Go for someone who is not only proud to have you, but will also take every risk to keep you.”

“Be confident. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren’t. Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept everything you are—and aren’t—that you will truly succeed.”

“I feel bad for girls sometimes. I think guys get it much easier as far as appearance judgment. Girls are judged so harshly for no reason.”

-Kingsly

“Don’t ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can’t be exactly who you are.”

-Lady Gaga

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”

-Judy Garland

“Love me or hate me. I promise it will never make or break me.”

-Tyra Banks

“Never dull your shine for somebody else.”

-Tyra Banks

“I think a girl is most attractive when wearing sweats and just being herself.”

-Taylor Lautner (aw how sweet! I love Taylor. More boys should follow his example…just saying.)

“Girls need the confidence to know they are whole, and that they can do anything just the way they are.”

-Christy Carlson Romano

“Just be confident in what you know for yourself. Because you will have pressures from all different types of people who will try to tell you that they know what’s better for you. And we all know, deep down inside, that inner voice…those dreams that we have that people are constantly telling us that we can’t achieve…we know what we can.”

-Jada Pinkett-Smith

“I think every year I became happier because I became more confident and more comfortable in my own skin.”

-Zooey Deschanel

“I have cellulite. I have stretch marks. I feel intimidated by Victoria’s Secret. Hollywood is one of those endless competitions, but it’s a race toward nothing. There’s no winning. You’re never going to win the pretty race. I just want to be the best version of myself that I can be.”

-Reese Witherspoon

“I think happiness is a choice. I believe luck is your attitude. It sounds like a really annoying bumper sticker. But there is such a great truth in that. You choose how you want to feel about what happens to you. I really believe when you peel away the layers, the world’s a beautiful place filled with beautiful people.”

-Drew Barrymore

“We all have horrible fears and insecurities that we need to overcome.”

-Leonardo Dicaprio

“It may sound cliché but when you feel beautiful and strong on the inside, it shows on the outside.”

-Angelina Jolie

“I think that we’re all sort of sick of being judged on how we look no matter if we’re too skinny. It seems that you can’t be just right anymore. You’re either too fat or too skinny or too old or too young too ethnic or too not, you know. You rarely go wow that girl’s just beautiful.”

-Kirstie Alley

"Beauty captures the eyes while personality captures the heart."