Hiding My Heart (Worlds Apart)

I went missing.

Disappeared.

Did anyone notice?

I missed you.

Where did July go? 

It vanished with me, or maybe I became invisible in it.

Either way, I am back.

I have soooo much inspiration & stuff to share & talk about. 

I feel tired and uninspired at times.

And I wrote this last night...

I want to catch a break but I'm only breaking down. Breaking apart. Broken. Falling, falling, forever. Falling to pieces. Fading. Invisible. Disappearing. Gone. And no one notices or cares. It's an effortless mess, my SOS, calling out to deaf ears in distress. The girl (me, I) is hopeless. She's open for suggestions and directions. She can barely breathe. Countless questions.  Is she wonderful? Do you wonder about her? Or is it any wonder [her fate]? Full of wonder. Wondering. Waiting. Is it mere coincidence the fact that fate rhymes with wait, or is it something deeper? I'm getting weaker. And you, you, you. You. It ends with you, or more accurately begins with you. Always you. Only you. Perfect you. The one. Will you come slowly or run? She can be found if only you look. Find me. Save me. Embrace me. Press me to you. Hold me. Tighter. Never letting go, or you'd fall too. Strength in two becoming one. Learn me. Feel me. Catch me. Memorize me. Love me. I am yours forever. Irrevocably. Unconditionally. Enduring. Wishing. Hoping. Dreaming. Living. Flying. Breathing. Like stars crashing into each other at the speed of our hearts in a cold, dark light-years-length, infinite galaxy, transforming into one radiant, bright, shining star bursting, glowing, filling the sky, and each other, with warmth, light, and electricity. We are a star. You are my star. Guide me home.

Yeah it's kind of rough and inconsistent and a mess, but it was from the heart. That's what matters right?

Okay August had better be amazing for all of us lovelies. Lets make it so... no matter what. 

 "Entwined. All that we are is defined by each others shipwrecked hearts and I shiver to think what would have been if I wouldn't have seen you in time... would we we pass by? Like parachutes and air balloons or satellites and lonely moons. We'd still be drifting far apart but thank the stars we are entwined. All that you are is mine. Your divine imperfections color the dark, and I shiver to see how fragile you are when the world's such a cruel place to be. Then you cut me free. Lets walk the tightrope together without a safety net and when we fall, and we will fall, lets fall forever... entwined."

-Jason Reeves

 "Life is the most fragile, unstable, unpredictable thing there is."

-Meredith Grey

 "All anyone needs is someone to step in and let us know we're not alone."

-Meredith Grey

 "The only time I don't feel like a ghost is when you look at me. You see me."

-Owen Hunt

 "Don't forget--no one else sees the world the way you do, so no one else can tell the stories that you have to tell."

-Charles de Lint

 "Some people say home is where you come from. But I think it's a place you need to find, like it's scattered and you pick pieces of it up along the way."

-Katie Kacvinsky

 "That's what love is. It's some power greater than you and me that draws us to one special person."

-Jodi PiCoult

 "You have to take chances in life to get anywhere worthwhile."

-Me

 "Our paths keep crossing

but never quite touch

You're so close I can almost feel you

Yet impossibly out of reach

When will our parallel paths

become only one?"

-Me

 "You don't love someone because they're perfect. You love them in spite of the fact that they're not. Because they are perfect in your eyes."

 "Every now and then something amazing happens and best case scenarios seem possible. And against our better judgment, we start to have hope."

-Meredith Grey

"Sometimes the only way to catch your breath is to lose it completely."

-Tyler Knott Gregson

 Brie & CiCi on the 4th of July!

"You only make a once in a lifetime friend... once in a lifetime!"

-The Little Rascals

Have an amazing day lovelies... always remember that someone is (or will be) lucky to have you.

With love,

Charley Brooke

Thanks For The Memories

Lovelies

Happy late Thanksgiving :)

I have sooo much to be thankful for.

Especially each and every single one of you.

My followers and readers.

You.

I am thankful for you.

You inspire me and this Inspiration Nation is for you.

There aren't words to describe how much room you fill in my heart. 

I think about all of you even if I don't know each of you.

I appreciate your love for me and taking the time to read what I write even if it's insignificant.

Thank you.

I am always always always here for you.

The question on everyone's mind on Thanksgiving is what are you thankful for?

My answer is a question: what aren't I thankful for?

Okay, obviously I'm not grateful, and I dislike, bad things such as war, hate, crime, indifference, pain, intolerance, suffering, etc, but in a way I am thankful for it all.

Everything.

Life.

Love.

The world.

The stars.

The universe.

Most of all our dear Heavenly Father who created it all who gave this to us and our savior Jesus Christ's atonement and example of love for all.

Without dark there would be no light.

Without suffering there would be no compassion.

Without the bad, we wouldn't know or appreciate the good.

Our Savior is the best example of all that I love, the good stuff, and pure selflessness because He is perfect and made it possible in this life for all of our suffering, hardships, sadness, and trials to be overcome. 

He gave his life to save us.

Everything happens for a reason.

All is and will be well.

I know it's cliche and I say it all the time, but it's cliche for a reason and it's true.

Life may seem unfair at times and downright impossible, but it's just an illusion. All the wrongs will be made right in the end.

Our trials help us grow, bring us together, realize we need each other, help us love and appreciate life, everyone, everything.

They make us stronger and turn us into our best selves if we do our parts, stay strong, have faith, patience, help others, and never give up but just keep pushing through with all it takes and holding on.

We will all get our happily ever after and for this I am thankful and grateful for everything... not just today but everyday with all of me.

(I know not everyone has the same religious beliefs as I do. I do not apologize for expressing my views and beliefs on my blog so freely. I speak what I know to be true. I do however respect and appreciate and love all of my readers who feel differently or have different beliefs. I am thankful for the freedom we have to be able to express our views and beliefs and practice them, this is yet another blessing.)

Continuing on...

Family is most important... you can't spell fam(ily) without ily-I Love You. I have the most amazing friends and family that I love with all of my heart and am blessed beyond the slightest comprehension to have in my life. I would give everything and do anything for them.

I love that Thanksgiving brings families and all of us together. 

Thank you lovelies.

What did you do for Thanksgiving?!

I'd love to hear about it :)

Here are some pre-Thanksgiving (Thanksgiving-Eve) pictures Imma share with you!

Me & the lovely Paige. 

Friends help friends bake Thankgiving dinner haha.

Paige & I helped my mom make the most amazing pumpkin pies ever.

Charley and Paige

Betty Crocker/housewife (my amazing mom) baking some of our Thanksgiving dinner.

Of course the boys just watched and goofed off while the girls did all the work... typical haha

My stepbrother Colton, stepdad, and stepbro Tanner.

 Okay I chopped this celery for the stuffing. I know it's random to put a picture of it but there's a story to tell.

So I got a little cocky chopping that and wanted to be all kitchen top chef baker girl and tried to chop it WAY fast like the pros do... yeah I almost cut off my finger haha. Anyways I hate celery. I think it tastes like a Christmas tree... NO I have not ever ate or tasted a Christmas tree, I just think it takes like a Christmas tree smells if that makes any sense whatsoever.

Paige cut the onions and diced them. Poor girl! She was crying so hard because of the onions. Her eyes were red and she was temporarily blinded. What a great friend to help and get battle wounds from making Thanksgiving dinner with me. 

 Aw presh... mom & stepdad

Haha silly me showing off my new outfit (thanks mom!)

Nothing.

People ask, "What's the matter with you?" And I say, "Nothing". Nothing slowly clotting my arteries. Nothing slowly numbing my soul. Caught by nothing, saying nothing, nothingness becomes me. When I am nothing, they will say, surprised, in the way they are forever surprised, "But there was nothing the matter with her."
     Sometimes I can't even make myself get out of bed. I just don't want to see anyone. I'd much rather be alone. But at the same time, being alone is what makes me feel this way. I want somebody to show me that I am worth saving. I need somebody to show me that I am not going to be alone forever.
     ...But maybe I will be alone forever and need to just accept it and stop waiting, wishing for, and wondering about someone who is never going to come.
     Lately, I've been thinking about Disney princesses and how awesome and brave they are. They have to be strong and brave because their princes aren't, with the exception of Aladdin. These princesses have to risk their lives for these stupid boys who are clueless! And I bet they don't live happily ever after more than half the time. Is love really worth it?
     However, I must remember that I am never alone. Everyone wants to live a fairytale. Everyone wants a perfect lie, but what makes up a fairytale? Is it truly the pain and the strife? What would a fairytale be without a damsel in distress? She would never meet prince charming, would never dance in her dress. You see you can't have a story with just a beginning and an end. You have to be broken to be able to mend. Without the dark, there'd be no light. Without the wrong, there'd be no right. Every story can have a perfect ending. You just have to wait and work for it.